HahYuhDooin?

Don McIntyre's blog. See www.donmcintyre.com

6/22/2012

Let there be consequences


    Both my experience as a parent and a fair amount of reading on the subject of parenting have taught me a rare parental absolute: Let there be consequences. To whatever degree that it is realistically possible, set your child free, let his choices and actions produce their own results, and let those results run their course. Give advice only when asked, and discipline only when you don’t have the luxury of allowing those natural consequences.
    I have obviously overstated these principles, forgetting for a moment the obvious limitations. Furthermore, I am aware of that sorry band of pseudo-parents – the uninterested and undisciplining – who will pat themselves on the back about the “freedom” their kids have. Nevertheless, the principle stands. Natural consequences do a lot of their own good parenting. Constantly bail them out of trouble now, and they will be ill-equipped for the Real World, an endlessly complaining burden, on you, on someone else, and on taxpayers.
    The identical message is a very common theme of recovery programs and self-help books. If your significant other is an alcoholic, drug abuser, spouse abuser, compulsive gambler or spender, or whatever, and you keep telling lies to the boss, bailing him out of jail, and forgiving to the point of overindulgence, then you are a co-dependent and an accomplice.
    If so many citizens are getting the point, then why isn’t the United States government? Or worse, why aren’t the voters expecting their elected officials to act with the same minimal level of sense that we expect from a decent parent or a twelve-stepper?
    Is not the national deficit largely a consequence of large scale government co-dependence? Are there not a significant number of spoiled brat individuals, programs and causes in our midst, that whine about unfairness even as they pull more cookies from the great tax-supported jar?
    Isn’t mommy Washington being just a tad too forgiving when so many violent crimes are being committed by those who have already been in prison for the same crimes?
    Why do we give more privileges to rioters who vandalize city streets just because, by golly, they want someone to listen to them?
    Does Welfare grow a new teat every time another scrawny puppy turns up on the doorstep?
    People become fully human, and fully themselves, by making choices. They become grownups when choices have consequences.