How and What We Remember

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How and what we remember is as much a manifestation of who we are today than of what actually happened in the past.

There is a continuum in the psyche with gratitude and joy on one extreme, and resentment, complaining and scapegoating on the other. Human nature tends to take for granted, without consciously thinking about it, that where an individual psyche is on this continuum at any given moment is an accurate, objective response to external realities past and present. This is absurd.

One's location on the continuum is certainly affected by real objective experiences, but at any given moment, it is also affected by physical energy, physical wellness, the influence of years and dozens of personal habits both healthy and unhealthy, and most importantly: the psycho-spiritual healing, nurture and empowerment that one has pursued/allowed during the course of one's own life.

The spirit of thankfulness and joy can rise up as an ocean – I can describe it in no better way – to overcome a painful memory as if it were a frail vessel in a storm. In the same way bitterness can arise – not by some great cruelty that has been heaped up in the past (and/or present), but by one's own partnership in the embittering process.

In short, the psyche changes the raw facts of one's life – literally changes experience! (at least in my deepest memory of them; and where else do they exist really?) – by the mere consideration of them. For the individual psyche is greater than the objective universe. One can stifle, suppress, glorify, magnify, minimize, cling to or release anything that exists there. Furthermore, there are appropriate times for all of these.

When we are very small, events play a role in molding us. But this fact can be twisted into a tremendous lie – as if the molding affect of early experiences was somehow eternal or incontrovertible.

But it is simply not so. Inside the individual human psyche, the past is a subcategory of the present. The dirty bath water of the past may remain in the tub, but there is a faucet with fresh, warm water, soaps and cleaners -- all in the present. For one who is maturing appropriately, the tub is getting larger and larger; a certain quantity of dirty water becomes less and less unpleasant. And truth be known, there is a drain available.

Thus the complainer often exposes more of his or her present soul condition than of his or her past experiences. And it is the same with the joyful person.

As always, there is a qualification. Sometimes people act joyfully when, in fact, it would be best for them to experience a season of mourning over some past sorrow that still tightens a muscle in the soul. But is it remarkable how different a person engaged in healthy mourning is from a complainer. One is the very picture of glorious humanity; the other is simply annoying.