Bland Parenthood

OK, I see why bland parenthood would be a bit irritating to some people - especially if their own parents were bland, or if they have to deal with bland in-laws. But, come on, people! Why all the aggression? I mean, there are whole web sites out there criticizing bland parentood. So much so that bland parents evidently have formed their own organization.

And now I see pictures of people with posters gathering together in front of Bland Parenthood offices to demonstrate. SHEESH!

I think my father may have been a bland parent, but he balanced it out nicely with occasional passive aggression.

It did bother me a little when I learned that Bland Parenthood receives a lot of money from the federal government, but then, if Nevada gets tax dollars to have their annual cowboy poetry festival, and the Smithsonian Institute for displaying a video of a Jesus statue with ants crawling on it, and the San Jose unified school district got a $725,000 pizza machine that doesn't work, I guess some money for bland parents makes sense. Bland people don't tend to be wild spenders.

Besides, I'm sure they're not getting THAT much money. Those people in the government: I trust them to make these decisions for us. You can tell how smart they are because they talk so good. I admire a good speech. Good speeches are NOT bland.

I'm wondering why it always seems to be pregnant women that go into those Bland Parenthood offices. If they want to put their kids up for adoption, shouldn't they go to an adoption agency? Maybe some parents are so bland that they can't even get excited over each other anymore and the only way to have more kids is to adopt some. But why would an unmarried pregnant woman actually WANT to give her kid to bland parents; I mean, if she had a choice? Maybe the father of her baby is really UN-bland in some very disturbing ways, and she thinks she's giving her baby the chance for a better life, as in "blander is better." But if that's the case, I'm surprised there are so many of them.

Anyway, don't forget that for many bland parents, it's not their fault. They probably had bland parents too. You can't force someone to avoid being parents just because they're bland. That would require some kind of gross surgery down there around their naughty parts.